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Ok, not really, but that's the first thing that popped into my head when I was thinking of a title for this post!

A few weeks ago, a recruiter asked me if I was interested in being submitted for a copywriter position with FIGS. What I didn't realize at the time is that FIGS wanted a senior copywriter with seven years of experience.

Unaware of that, I researched the company. I spoke to friends and family who are in healthcare. I asked them what they liked and didn't like about the brand. All but one of them were die-hard FIGS fans. There was only one hiccup. One friend clued me into a marketing blunder that FIGS made a couple of years ago that hurt their image.

Here's the link to that marketing blunder, in case you're interested.

Kind of shocking how an entire marketing team ok'd this, right?

But even with that, I was impressed by their overall marketing, and I really liked their brand voice. Even though I wasn't sure I wanted to give up freelancing, I gave the recruiter the go-ahead.

And if I was going to do this, I might as well create a spec piece to go with my resume.

To stand out from the crowd.

FIGS makes medical apparel for "awesome humans." They refer to their brand as 100% awesome. But as I was looking through their media touchpoints, I noticed a deficit in the use of those awesome humans in their marketing. With the exception of a handful of the real "awesome humans" on their website, they were missing out on an opportunity to incorporate real FIGS consumers. Particularly on their Facebook page, which had not been updated since November 2022 as of that point.

With that in mind, I created a spec Facebook video post inviting consumers to "show us your awesome." The idea was to invite FIGS consumers- doctors, nurses, dentists, veterinarians, assistants, technicians, and more- to take photos of themselves wearing their FIGS scrubs for a chance to win a free scrubs set.

It was only after the fact that I realized they were looking for someone with seven years of copywriting experience. But I'm pretty happy with the results of the spec piece- especially since I don't have any real design skills!

What do you think?

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Would you ever buy a pair of dirty sneakers?

I'm talking about NEW dirty sneakers. The kind that are intentionally scuffed and stained and worn. Kind of like something you might have worn in grade school after you owned them for a few months.

I'm late to the party, but as it turns out, lots of people want to buy them.

I saw an Instagram reel yesterday from @heather.klawitter taken when she was checking out the shoe selection at Nordstrom. Among them were shoes that looked used. Like something you'd see at a garage sale or in a box in your parent's garage where you left it the past two decades.

This was one of them:

The price tag on them was $625.00. The company? Golden Goose.

As a copywriter, I immediately started wondering how the company would market something like this. What words were used to convince people to buy their dirty sneakers?

I didn't find great results on third-party websites.

Bergdorf Goodman had this sneaker for sale for $495.00:

Here's the product description:

  • Golden Goose low-top leather sneakers with suede and metallic trim.

  • Contrasting star patch at side.

  • Flat heel.

  • Round toe.

  • Lace-up vamp.

  • Breathable leather/cotton lining.

  • Signature hand-stained rubber sole.

  • Made in Italy.

Ok, this design isn't as used looking as the ones in the Instagram reel. But neither the design nor the copy were doing it for me.

My next stop was Revolve, where I found this shoe for $409.00:

Right away, I found this sneaker more appealing than the others. I'm always a sucker for a pop of red, I guess.

Here's the product description:

  • Leather upper with rubber sole

  • Made in Italy

  • Lace-up front

  • Suede star applique

  • Intentionally scuffed

  • Gold logo stamp on side

  • Contrasting leather heel tab


I guess Revolve assumes these sneakers will just sell themselves because that copy was lazy. A bunch of features we can already see but no reason for me to buy them. And at that price, it's expensive by just about everyone's standards.

I then checked out Nordstrom, which offered this shoe for $545.00:

It looks pretty similar to the last one, right? So what's with that price difference? No clue.

But this time, the copy was more compelling. Here's the product description:

"This skateboarding-inspired low-top sneaker is scuffed and distressed by hand to have that perfectly worn-in look right out of the box."

Short and sweet, and more than just a list of features. It tries to appeal to the customers and hints at the benefits of buying this shoe.

My last stop was the original source. I had to know how Golden Goose marketed itself. By this point, I had come to the realization that Golden Goose specialized in worn/used-looking shoes. But how did they become so popular? And how were they able to sell them for $400-$600 or more?

This is where it all started to make sense.

Golden Goose had this to say about their brand.

*Light bulb*


Ok, now THAT copy is persuasive! And it tells a story. I know right away that their brand values include authenticity, individuality, and the love and warmth that comes with hand-make work.

The idea of perfect imperfections is one that I'm sure resonates with their customers. Because isn't that all of us?

And if I'm being honest, a few of their shoe designs ARE growing on me. I can see the appeal of that scuffed, almost vintage look. Teenage me would have LOVED them. Especially if they're as comfortable as they look.

I still don't know about that price tag, though. It's not for most people. But I'm starting to see how they became so popular.

What do you think? Would you ever spend $600 for Golden Goose's signature sneakers?


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On September 28, 2022, the Food and Drug Administration proposed new guidelines.

The guidelines would require food manufacturers to meet requirements to label their packages “healthy.”

To qualify as healthy, food products must:

  • contain a “meaningful amount” of a food group or subgroup recommended by the Dietary Guideline.

  • limit saturated fats, sodium and added sugars based on the Daily Value depending on the food.

When I first heard of this, I thought, "Meh. So what? We’re not giving people enough credit. I think we all know what’s healthy and what isn’t."


Is a lack of understanding really the cause of nutrition/diet/health issues in the U.S.?

Are you choosing not to fill your meals with cauliflower, broccoli, and cucumbers because you don't understand they're healthy? Or are you avoiding them because they're more expensive, take longer to cook and because they're boring?

Are you eating McDonald’s because you don’t understand it’s unhealthy? Or are you eating it because it’s fast, easy, less expensive, and addictive?

The FDA is banking on it being an awareness issue. The US Secretary of Health and Human Services, Xavier Becerra, had this to say:

“Healthy food can lower our risk for chronic disease. But too many people may not know what constitutes healthy food. FDA’s move will help educate more Americans to improve health outcomes, tackle health disparities and save lives.”

I can't say I agree with Mr. Becerra. And I would be shocked if these proposed guidelines fixed our country's nutrition issues.

But it might complicate things for certain brands.

Of all things to face more scrutiny with the proposed guidelines, cereal is taking center stage.

That’s right. Cereal.

Many cereals promote themselves as healthy but are they really?

Let's take Honey Nut Cheerios (or HNC because I'm lazy), as an example.

If you're like me, you might not immediately think of HNC when you think of healthy cereals. I mean, if my plan is to shed some weight, I can’t imagine HNC would ever be part of that plan.

But have you looked at their packaging recently?

Right there in big print in the front of their packages, it states: “Can help lower cholesterol as part of a heart healthy diet.”

The Cheerios website also includes this with their product description for HNC:

“Pour a bowlful of this heart healthy cereal for breakfast or put the box on the family table for everyone to enjoy.”

Well, it looks like Cheerios might need to change both their packaging and their marketing if these proposed guidelines go into affect.

Will this hurt their bottom line?

And what other products might be affected?

I guess we’ll find out!


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